Back in the game

There was a very memorable incident that happened in the 3rd year of my time in secondary school. I was selected to represent my class in an inter-class Plain English Speaking Competition (PESA). I gave a speech on ‘woman rights’ and successfully made it into the finals where I was up against a fellow schoolmate also from an arts class just like myself.

The competition stepped up a little in the finals. Apart from our prepared speech, we were required to deliver an impromptu speech as well. That meant that the topic would be given to us on the day of the finals itself and with exactly a minute to prepare for it, we would have to come up with a 2 and a half minute long speech which we would have to deliver to the entire cohort.
And so I trained vigorously with my English teacher. Frankly speaking, I wasn’t at all good at my impromptu speech. I was all over the place and I could never reach 2 minutes, let alone 2 and a half. If I remember correctly my teacher soon enough decided that I should just train on my own.

Despite all my lousy attempts, I went out that day with a positive expectation of good. I told myself I was gonna win this thing and walk out victorious. With a spring in my step, I left for the battlefield. Very confidently, I gave my prepared speech on women rights. To tell you the truth, it didn’t go very well. After some time, everyone became restless and started having small conversations with another. I think my teacher even felt that delivering my impromptu speech later would just be a formality, that at the end of the day I was gonna walk out runner up. She didn’t exactly say this but it was very much implied. I still remained confident. I wanted to seize the day.

Anyway, the topic of the impromptu speech was ‘Respect’. With trembling hands, this was, more or less, what I said:
I have done things in my life I’m not proud of. I have lost an immense amount of respect for myself because of those things. But there are also things that I have done I am very proud of. Things like speaking to a crowd as big as this on the subject of ‘respect’, things for which I raise my head up high, things for which I feel joyful and exuberant about. We have our very own, unique definitions for respect. To some of you respect may mean rank and position, to others it may mean wealth and success. To me, respect means my mother. My mother, who has painstakingly cared and brought me up as an individual. It is because of her that I can walk with my head held high, it is because of her that I stand here today giving you my definition of respect. I have a stupendous amount of respect for her in my heart, one that can probably never be replaced by anyone. I don’t know if I’ll walk out of here a winner, but to her I already am and it’s all I care about. With that, I thank you.
By the way, I overshot 2 and a half minutes by just a bit.

I received a standing ovation that day. Everyone stood up to clap for Joy, even my English teacher. Did I win? Yes, gloriously. Ms Sandra, a teacher I hold in very high regard, personally gave me my reward (I swear, I almost cried). And when I went to thank my English teacher in person her exact words, I believe, were “No. Thank you, Joy.”

A year after, I sat for my ‘O’ level examinations. Each day my father would tell me, ‘Hey Joy, congratulations’.
‘Why’, I asked. ‘Why would you wish me congratulations even before I took the exam? I am about to take a major national exam. I am anything but euphoric about it. I am dreading stepping into the examination hall and you wish me congratulations. Why?’
He said, because I was going to pass… with flying colours and that he knew this even before I sat for the exam.
Today, that same man thinks I’m not going to make it for geography for my ‘A’ levels. He thinks its a lost cause, that I should just try to pass, that its wishful thinking to aim for an A or B or C.

Here’s the thing. I can think of a 100 reasons why I should give up on geography. But I can only think of one why I shouldn’t. I can choose to lose hope, or I can choose to make hope my primary weapon. I could go on believing that its a lost cause, or I could just have faith and trust that all things will be good.  I’ve decided to choose the latter, just like how I did for PESA. I have exactly 7 weeks left and I can make a difference, if I choose to do so.

Watch out people, I’m back in the game.